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Wow, it feels crazy and so surreal to think that one month from now i will be sleeping in a tent in Georgia @ my first night of training camp! i am so excited, and i cannot wait to finally meet my team! i feel like i know them already... thanks to facebook, we all talk quite regularly. nothing too exciting has happened lately, hint my lack of blogs. i dont ever have anything exciting to write, so i dont write. but at.



tonight i have a lot on my mind... and i cant sleep. which is crazy because well, i sleep no matter what. i'll sleep thru anything. the past few weeks i haven't been sleeping well though & tonight well, i just cant sleep period. i guess the deeper i get into my trip & preparing and basically the closer my departure date gets, the harder it gets for me to be at home. maybe it's supposed to be the opposit, but for me, it's hard. i remember reading through the FYM Handbook & reading what dave wrote about how it's tough trying to live in two worlds @ once. when he said it he was talking about communication while we're in africa... trying to keep in touch with people @ home and in africa. that its difficult. obviously, i am not in africa right now... but i am finding it really really difficult trying to live in two worlds at once right now. its tough, i go to a christian college & there it's so easy to have people you can just sit down with and be like look im struggling with this, or listen to what ive been learning through my devotions, or hey wanna come to church with me tonight? stuff like that... its never difficult. but im at home. being at home i've distanced myself from most of my friends i graduated with simply because i dont want to be a part of the life they're living. i dont want to go down that road. its not who i am and its not who i want to be. so in saying this, i find myself missing my friends from school. its tough, i dont live around any of them & its hard to go from having so many friends around me 24/7 to being like ok rae, dont even talk to them... they're bad news. one thing i struggled with this year @ school was going to church. i know call me crazy, i went to a christian school & yep, i never got out of bed to go to church on sunday morning. maybe thats awful of me. but we had our weekly helping of chapel twice a week and honestly, none of the churches in anderson are anything i could get into. its really difficult for me to get into a church that isnt modern. sincei  have been home ive been trying to go to church. which duh, isnt that hard because A: my family has went like every sunday since, well forever... and B:
i go to an amazing church. i find myself WANTING to go to church, i look forward to it every week. and its such a good feeling. ok, whoa rae... i got so sidetracked... anyways... about the whole living in two worlds thing... ok so as time draws closer i find it difficult for myself to try & have relationships here @ home. its really really hard to come home and spend my summer with four amazing friends. i have gotten so close to my best friends at home that it kinda stinks to have to think about leaving when im getting closer with them then ever. and then the whole family thing. its really really really hard for me right now with my family. because the past year or maybe jus tthis summer i have gotten a lot closer with my family. period. all of them. my grandma, my grandpa, my brother, my parents... i feel like my relationships have just sky rocketed. and its awesome! which makes it all that much more difficult to leave. my family supports me 100 % and i know they are excited for me! i decided not to come home over christmas break... therefore, i will not see them until may. i've honestly never been a girl to get homesick. i thrive on independence. i love being away. i loved college. being on my own. not living at home. i have an awesome home. im just trying to get the point across that i dont really get homesick. and i know when i go to j bay that i will do just fine! it will be AMAZING! and i know that ill miss my family... thats oh so natural. its just crazy to think that i hav eone month left with them. and then i say goodbye for nine months. one of my favorite quotes is " surrender to god's will, no matter what that might mean" ... i guess this is one of those " no matter what that might mean" things. i cannot wait! im so excited! i cant explain just how excited i am.

i'll give you the update about my support money... this isnt all in my account yet but its in the mail or on its way....

i have a total of $6,480.00. so i still need about $4,000 more in support.

keep me in your prayers but i know that things will all work out!

ohh... i got t shirts made. im selling them. i have fifty of them & i decided to sellthem for twenty bucks a piece... why not? so i wwill get a thousand dollars from those. ( thank you bungers for supplying them for me ! i love you guys! ) they are
HOT PINK and they say " i bought this shirt to help send raelynn to south africa" (thanks amber :) ) on the front & on the back they have this web address with an outline of africa and a star where j bay is. i need to sell all fifty shirts... shoot i know i will. let me know if you would like one! i have allll sizes.

alright well, that was quite the entry... im going to trry & get some sleep now...

god bless & thank you to everyone supporting me!

i'll give you the update about my support money... this isnt all in my account yet but its in the mail or on its way....

i have a total of $6,480.00. so i still need about $4,000 more in support.

keep me in your prayers but i know that things will all work out!

ohh... i got t shirts made. im selling them. i have fifty of them & i decided to sellthem for twenty bucks a piece... why not? so i wwill get a thousand dollars from those. ( thank you bungers for supplying them for me ! i love you guys! ) they are
HOT PINK and they say " i bought this shirt to help send raelynn to south africa" (thanks amber :) ) on the front & on the back they have this web address with an outline of africa and a star where j bay is. i need to sell all fifty shirts... shoot i know i will. let me know if you would like one! i have allll sizes.

alright well, that was quite the entry... im going to trry & get some sleep now...

god bless & thank you to everyone supporting me!