i started reading a book tuesday called "surrender" by nancy leigh demoss. wow, did it work wonders on my heart. or should i say, god worked wonders on my heart. i read it cover to cover in about two days. it opened my eyes up to what surrendering to god really meant... and what it really means to live for him. i learned that surrendering isn't necessarily just doing what god wants you to do, but giving up what you want. its surrendering your will, for his will. and that when you finally surrender to his will, thats when you are at your place of blessing and fullness and complete peace. i also learned what it means to be a living sacrifice. i now understand a living sacrifice to be when we live out our lives, given to us by god, knowing that our lives are not our own, that they were given to us by god and that we belong to god. and knowing all this we live out our lives honoring him in every step. there was a chapter of the book about fear. not really fear as in what we are afraid of in our lives. but what we're afraid of giving up for god. some of us think we have it all together, we go to church and we live our lives but what are we really AFRAID of giving up for god? are we afraid of sacrificing our money, houses, cars, our schooling, friendships, relationships, athletic abilities... what are we so absorbed in with our lives that we are hesitant to give that one thing up even if wee give everything else up. it really opened my eyes up. i know god is working in my heart... and its absolutly amazing! i have such a calmness in my heart and my mind that i havent had in a long time. i feel like im where i am supposed to be at in my life and it feels incredible! i have things in my life that i struggle with just like everyone else but this book just did wonders for me. i know that going on this trip is going to change me for the rest of my life, and i am so completely excited! i am so ready. honestly, i have no idea what im going to do when i return home may fifteenth. i guess in the back of my mind i will be going back to Anderson University, and continuing my college career. but at the same  time i feel like God is preparing me for something else. i dont know what. and im not going to start thinking about it because whatever is in my future is his will and everything will work out in his time. i just cannot wait to leave. im learning so much and its making me so excited. my support money is coming in great! i started late but things are working out alright as of now. thanks to everyone who has supported me, i couldnt do it without you. please keep me in your prayers that i will continue to raise money and just continue praying for me as i prepare myself to leave. pray for my team as well and my leaders! =)

i will be with you. i am enough. if you have me, you have everything you need. do you trust me?